Remember recess? Bet you couldn’t wait to meet your mates in the school yard to mess around with a ball. And don’t get me started on the joys of playing in the sand in kindergarten!
Physical activity in our early school years tends to be pretty casual. You look forward to it because, well, it’s fun to run around the playground. Later on, exercise turns into just another class. It’s “physical education,” not recess, and if you don’t do it right you’ll get a bad grade.
This isn’t what exercise is supposed to be. We should enjoy physical activity in and of itself, not be forced into PE classes where we do things we have no interest in.
Exercise and Achievement
Most schools have pre-set physical education programs that funnel in students and force them to participate in sport. They’re then expected to embrace exercise and love it for the rest of their lives.
There is a subtle achievement mindset young adults are compelled to embrace when it comes to institutionalized exercise. Too often, it’s about faster times, heavier weights, and being better than peers. It doesn’t matter if you hate every moment of it; you’re only after the results awaiting you at the end of your session. Students who don’t excel often feel shame compared to their sportier (and normally more popular) classmates.
How often do you actually enjoy something you feel pressure to achieve results in? Almost never, right? It’s no wonder so few adults enjoy exercise. They were taught from a young age that it’s a chore to slog through, not an activity to enjoy.
Exercise should not be a means to an end: to lose weight, to get in shape, to impress that boy or girl you like. Exercise should be play. You should look forward to hitting the field, the pool, or the courts, not look forward to it being over with.
Let me tell you a couple of stories that explain how I learned the value of sport as play.
Choice Makes a Difference
When I was in middle school, PE was mandatory. We changed into uniforms and were split into groups: girls played their sports and boys played theirs. It was so dry and regimented that I’m not sure “fun” was ever part of the equation.
Being forced to play a game I didn’t want to really rubbed me the wrong way. If I skipped any class more than others, it was PE.
In high school, I could choose what I wanted to do during my hour of PE. Here, I finally found something I loved: tennis. Suddenly I didn’t want to skip PE. I actually looked forward to it! I wanted to learn how to power serve and perfect my back swing.
Choice made all the difference in the world for me. When I wasn’t forced to “enjoy” some arbitrary activity, I could actually relax and have a good time. And you know what? You never had to remind me to get out to the courts on a sunny day.
Running for the Goal
A couple of decades later, my 12 year old daughter announced she was joining the track team. I was thrilled, as I had been a runner for a long time. Every day after school she ran with her teammates, and every day she came home feeling inadequate and disappointed that she couldn’t keep up with them.
I supported my daughter’s efforts throughout this. I reminded her that it wasn’t about keeping pace with or outperforming anyone. It was about improving her own abilities day by day and having fun doing it.
After another week or two, she came home in tears telling me how much she hated track. Running around in circles was boring, and if she couldn’t even keep up with her friends, what was the point?
I could see my daughter was no longer doing this for herself. Somewhere along the way her curiosity and enthusiasm had been replaced with a fear of failure that caused her a great deal of anxiety. Moreover, she felt like she was not meeting my perceived expectations as her mother, an experienced runner.
This was a lesson for both of us. Modern education doesn’t allow for individuals to explore any of their interests. It’s about conforming to pre-set schedules and standards, even in PE. This instills the expectation in young people that they should learn to enjoy what options are available to them.
Don’t like basketball? Too bad, that’s what we’re doing in PE. Push through the pain and get better at it.
I didn’t want my daughter to internalize this lesson. I told her she was free to explore any physical exercise she wanted to. She doesn’t have to enjoy what her friends do, what her mother does, or even what the school says she should enjoy. She took that to heart and later discovered a love of volleyball.
Exercise to Feel Good
It’s hard to have a conversation about exercise without talking about the benefits. Yes, it helps you lose weight, feel better, be more creative, etc. But if you’re forcing yourself to be active just for those benefits, you’re making things a lot harder than they need to be. And you’re missing out on all of the fun, too.
You can build an effective exercise routine that lasts for a long time simply by focusing on what you enjoy. Ditch the achievement mindset, and forget about pushing through the pain. Find your own personal motivation for wanting to get out there, and follow that every single day.
If you don’t like what you’re doing, try something new. Try a few things. Try a million things. There is no failure, just a failure to try.
Exercise isn’t about hiking the tallest mountain or spending half your day at the gym. Give yourself the freedom to have fun and do what you enjoy.
Shannon Llewellyn is the health writer for Universal Owl. A Cordon Bleu chef who always enjoyed writing on the side, she recently made the transition into writing full-time.
Her spare time is mostly taken up with running, meditating, yoga, and being grandma to Sammy.
The time between the ages of 16 and 25 can be a period of fast-tracked emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth for many young people. They may look like fully capable adults, but their cognitive reasoning skills are still very much tied to the outside world, especially to parents and educational environments.
Just like anyone, young people in this age group can make mistakes and they can get hurt. As parents, it’s hard for us to sit back and let that happen, no matter how big or small those mistakes might be.
A university shouldn’t have that problem, though. These institutions are supposedly preparing our teens to lead successful adult lives. Instead, they infantilize students more than most parents, encouraging an attitude of helplessness and fear instead of strength and independence.
It’s Easy for Parents to Infantilize Their Kids
Parents often infantilize their children by telling them they have choices, then subverting those choices when children try to exercise them. “You can choose any toy you want at the store. Oh, except the one you just pointed at, that one’s too noisy.”
There are right times and wrong times in a child’s development to be a watchful and cautious parent. It’s during the teen years that these efforts often come across as infantilizing, leading to terms like helicopter dad, tiger mom, and snowplow parents.
For me, as a single parent of three, it was critical to our survival as a family that I provided guidance and safe spaces for my kids to become as self-aware and self-reliant as possible. I quickly learned there was no one-size-fits-all method for doing this.
Every person has a unique learning language, including our own kids. I had to tailor my approach to each child in order to provide instruction without needlessly infantilizing them.
How Universities Promote Infantilization
Children receive instruction from outside the family, too. The most common sources are daycares and schools. We expect a certain amount of this external instruction when our kids are younger, but by the time they’re old enough to go to university, parents know we have to start cutting the cord.
Unfortunately, it seems universities haven’t gotten this message. They continue to teach obedience and avoidance of adversity instead of promoting strength and autonomy. Not only is that counter to what parents try to do with their children, it’s also harmful to students themselves.
Schools systematically infantilize students by monitoring and controlling their every waking moment. Denying them the ability to set their own schedules or form their own study plans is only the beginning.
Many schools force students to surrender their cell phones at the start of class, yet teachers are free to use their devices all day. Some even require students to ask permission to use the restroom, denying them control over their own bodily functions.
One of my children struggled with not being allowed to leave her desk without permission from the teacher. A simple request to get her jacket felt like a ridiculous restriction to her, especially since she was raised at home to be more autonomous in accomplishing simple tasks.
It’s through situations like these that universities preach empowerment and human rights while simultaneously denying the same to their students. This is perhaps the result of overcrowded schools or overworked teachers, but the damage is still being done to our young people’s sense of independence.
Kids and Teens Can Be Capable, If We Let Them
As a single parent of three children, I had to prepare myself early on for the arrival of teenage rebellion. This was going to be different from the terrible twos rebellion. I would be dealing with complex young adults, each with different styles for receiving, processing, and delivering information.
I found success using the most direct method I could think of: actions create consequences. By working with my teens and showing them the ins and outs of cause and effect in the real world, I realized I could curb a fair amount of rebellion before it started.
I encouraged my kids early on to be self-aware and self-sufficient in as many ways as possible. This presented problems when they went through the public school system. The environment there promotes a herd mentality, which was precisely the opposite of what I was teaching.
To offset this, I encouraged my kids to be accountable at home and let them know that this attitude should continue everywhere in the world, including at school. It’s this sapling level of self-sufficiency that I think had the most impact on my kids, both when they were young and as they grew up.
Thoughtfulness, autonomy, and a good understanding of how the world works, it all adds up to a stronger young adult, even when they’re faced with the infantilizing environment of universities.
Encouraging Individuation
Our job as parents seems pretty clear: support our kids, give them the tools they need to be self-sufficient, and be mindful of infantilizing them as they grow older. Our job isn’t to protect them from adversity, it’s to give them the tools they need to face it and grow from it.
Universities should also encourage this attitude. After all, that’s what we want from adults, right? Strong and thoughtful and autonomous. Heroic, even. Teens can handle this if we give them the chance, but right now, the second most abundant influence in a young adult’s life — their time spent at school — actively tries to destroy individuation.
We need to start lessons in autonomy young, long before our kids consider going to university. It’s only natural that teens and young adults will often lack impulse control. They may say or do things and don’t grasp the ramifications immediately. They may lack the ability to see the end game in their words or actions. But that’s ok. It’s part of the learning process.
As a parent or educator, it’s important to remember not to swoop in and rescue, deflect, or deny this behavior, but to model appropriate behavior and guide young adults with respect. Eventually, they’ll be flying on their own.
If we teach our children how to behave, then let them practice, eventually they will manage life’s ups and downs. Create controlled environments at home where kids can voice their opinions and engage in responsible behaviors. Once these habits are in place, encourage them to practice their independence outside of the home, with friends, and at school. More importantly, provide open channels for communication and offer feedback as necessary.
Ultimately, it’s far more advantageous to find that balance between treating kids like adults and helping them reach that level of maturity than it is to keep them oppressed.
Shannon Llewellyn is the health writer for Universal Owl. A Cordon Bleu chef who always enjoyed writing on the side, she recently made the transition into writing full-time.
Her spare time is mostly taken up with running, meditating, yoga, and being grandma to Sammy.
I bet you don’t remember when you took your first steps, but I can guarantee you fell down. A lot. You failed at walking. And talking. And using a spoon.
You didn’t know what failure meant then, so you kept on trying until you succeeded. So why as adults do we resist continuing to try after a few failed attempts at something? Our culture has taught us at a young age that failure has to be avoided at all costs. But there is another way to look at failure: as something we can use to our advantage in our journey toward growth and success.
Failing your way to a successful exercise routine
Let’s consider exercise as an example. Everyone knows exercise is a fundamental part of a healthy lifestyle, not just for physiological fitness but for mental and emotional fitness as well. When you feel good about your body, everything in life tends to fall into place. You look better so you eat better. You eat better so you feel better so you perform better. It’s all very synergistic.
But finding the perfect exercise routine takes a lot of trial and error. Or, put another way, it takes a lot of failure.
My relationship with failure in school
I used to be ashamed of failure as much as anyone else. At school, Field Day filled me with dread. Having a distinct lack of athletic ability, I knew I’d be overlooked by the team captain for every event. I believed I had no skill and no talent in any sport and plotted to be conveniently ill so I could hide out in the nurse’s office all day. I felt weak and unpopular.
Looking back, I can pinpoint the exact moment someone told me I was no good at sports. I internalized that belief and from that point forward believed I was simply no good at anything athletic. Trying to develop and stick to an exercise routine was a chore instead of the healthy choice it should’ve been.
Obesity as a growing global problem
I’m not the only one who felt this way as a kid. According to the World Health Organization, obesity rates have nearly tripled since 1975 across the board for all age groups. Most notably, over 340 million children and adolescents aged 5-19 were overweight or obese in 2016.
It’s also no surprise that exercise has been slashed from school curriculums worldwide. This short-sighted decision has bred a generation of students that are unaware of the importance of exercise and unaware of how to incorporate the habit of exercise into their daily routine.
Obesity rates continue to climb as people become more and more sedentary every generation. So how can we reverse this dangerous trend? I can’t speak for the whole of society, but I can share how I was able to start leading an active lifestyle in my own life.
How I changed my relationship with failure
As I grew up and chose my occupation, I discovered I loved food. I loved to learn about it, make it, and most of all, eat it. I became fascinated with the concept that food was fuel for my body, so I learned about the best fuel for my body and how it could nourish and heal me.
I knew I needed to incorporate exercise into my daily life, but I didn’t want to feel miserable doing it or ashamed for not doing it. I needed to adjust my perception from an expectation of perfect athletic performance to one of just showing up and seeing what happened.
I tried everything: group aerobics, softball, basketball, spin classes, you name it. But still, I resented having to ‘show up’ for something that I wasn’t genuinely looking forward to. I wanted to have fun at getting fit, but first I had to figure out how to reframe my own concept of failure.
Seeing failure as part of the process and accepting it as an inevitable instead of something shameful let me try new things without so much pressure on myself. Eventually, I found the type of exercise that is exactly my jam: running. I’m proud to say I have competed in multiple 5K runs over the last 25 years.
Find Your Jam
Here are some questions to ask yourself to help you find your jam:
What did I love to play as a kid? Kickball? Softball? Or did I like dancing in my room all by myself, or riding my bike?
What time of day am I most active? What does my schedule look like? Am I an early bird or a night owl?
Am I a competitive person or do I just want to have fun? Sometimes the best exercise is when you don’t even know you are doing it. Team sports like soccer, baseball, volleyball, hiking, and even dancing fall into this category.
How much time do I want to devote to exercise? Do I want to work out daily or a few times a week? What can I genuinely commit to for optimum results?
Do I want to exercise alone or in a group? Am I happier in a group or do I prefer ‘lone warrior’ pursuits like the bike or the track or the treadmill?
What does my budget look like? Can I afford things like gym or team fees, uniforms and equipment?
The key here is to focus on the process, not the end goal.
Try something. Fail at it. Fail at it repeatedly until you find the program that works for you.
Failure is not a bad thing, it simply means you haven’t found the solution or process that works for you yet. This theory can (and should) be applied to every aspect of your life. If you never try, you will always fail. Yet with every failure, you are closer to a victory. It’s the process that counts.
As NBA All-Star Michael Jordan so famously says, “The key to success is failure.” So keep trying, and keep failing. And keep on keeping on!
Shannon Llewellyn is the health writer for Universal Owl. A Cordon Bleu chef who always enjoyed writing on the side, she recently made the transition into writing full-time.
Her spare time is mostly taken up with running, meditating, yoga, and being grandma to Sammy.
When it comes to starting your day, you probably set your alarm, get up, brush your teeth, dress and grab a bite (hopefully!), and hustle out the door to tackle your day. Whether you’re aware of it or not, you’re developing lifestyle habits. These habits set the tone for how you manage your time and energy for the rest of the day.
How Do You Prepare for Your Day?
You may not realize it, but the way you do anything is the way you do everything.
If you start your day by sleeping in as long as possible, spending 2 minutes in the shower and wolfing down a sandwich, you’re probably going to carry around that feeling of being rushed with you for most of the day. Fortunately, there’s a more relaxed way of doing things.
Ever heard of meal prepping?
What is Meal Prepping?
Meal prepping simply refers to preparing food before you need it. Usually, you’ll prepare food in bulk to make your life easier. Getting into the habit of meal prepping eliminates the impulse to grab unhealthy junk food when you are feeling hungry or exhausted.
Meal prep standardizes portion sizes, saves you time, money, and all the precious energy it would normally take you to find something to eat. It’s already there in the fridge or the pantry ready for you to prepare and chow down.
My story
As a chef and single parent, I can’t stress enough the importance of meal prepping. Knowing what’s already prepped and waiting in the fridge made my evenings less stressful when I got home from work when the kids were hungry but there was still homework and baths and getting ready for the next day to be done. So many tasks before bedtime!
Better yet, as my kids grew up, they developed the meal prepping habit too. These days, as full-fledged adults, each one of them meal preps in order to ace their own days. Again, meal prepping saves time, money, and the precious energy you need for slaying your day.
Rev-Up Your Engine
Imagine your body is a luxury vehicle. Would you put low-quality petrol in your high-end Maserati? No? Then why would you put cheap, processed junk food in your body and expect it to perform at its best? It’s a matter of basic self-respect.
Meal-prepping takes the guesswork out of what’s on the menu at the end of the day. Simply grab and go from your own fridge or pantry. Eat better, feel better, perform better.
How to Meal Prep
Figure out what part of your day needs streamlining. Is it your morning routine or the evening hours that stress you out? Is it both? No problem. Meal prep doesn’t have to be a chore. In fact, you can learn to enjoy taking that one-or-two hour period each week to do your prepping.
If you live with roommates, enlist the help of a ‘meal prep buddy’ to split costs and labor and share ingredients. Maybe you’ll buy the zucchini and they’ll buy the tomatoes, and share portions of the meat and the beans. Listen to some music or a podcast, or watch a movie while you wash, chop, dice, and package food for the upcoming week.
What Meal Prepping Style Fits Your Lifestyle?
Are you someone who often arrives home late from school or work feeling ‘hangry’ (hungry and angry)? Then you’ll like to prepare complete meals ready to cook from the refrigerator or freezer. Just reheat your meal in the microwave or on the stovetop, and dinner is served.
Do you smack the snooze button on your alarm every morning to get those last few precious minutes of sleep? Then batch cooking is for you. Separate a large batch of food into individual portions for early morning breakfasts. Oatmeal is a favorite ingredient for this type of prepping, and it works for rice, pasta, beans, and veggie sides too.
If you fancy yourself a bit of a gourmet, you can still meal prep individual ingredients and then pull them together when you are ready to cook. Splash some balsamic vinaigrette or use some seasoning or spices, and you’ll have a different meal every day with the same basic ingredients.
What Do I Need for Meal Prepping?
If you’re thinking you’re going to need to be a rich kid to pull this off, don’t worry. We’ve got you covered. You’ll be able to get started with meal prep even if you’re living on a tight budget. In fact, it will probably end up saving you money. So check out our shortlist of the things you’ll need:
Firstly, food, obviously! Meat, veggies, beans, oatmeal, anything that you know you’ll eat.
Zippered freezer bags in gallon or quart sizes or airtight containers to put your prep in.
A thick-tipped black marker is necessary for labelling the bags and containers with the item and date you prepped. Most prepped food keeps about a week in the refrigerator and up to two months in the freezer.
Here are some easy, economical ingredients for meal prep menus:
Animal products like chicken, beef, pork, fish or seafood.
Vegetables like potatoes, squash, spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, or peas. Anything that you like and is versatile enough to go into a variety of dishes.
Starches like rice and pasta. Both are excellent foundations for future meals or a meal on their own.
Sample Prep Recipes
Seasoned Chicken Bites:
Purchase some skinless chicken thighs.
Cut each thigh into smaller pieces and season with salt and pepper.
Place seasoned, raw chicken in individual portion zippered bags and place in the fridge.
To cook, simply saute the chicken pieces in a frying pan with a little olive oil, butter, or bacon grease — whatever you have on hand.
Or, to save even more time, cook the chicken pieces in advance and once they are cooled, portion them into bags. Simply reheat when you’re ready to eat!
Breakfast Smoothies:
Cut up a variety of fruits in zippered bags and freeze.
When you’re pushed for time, throw a few frozen pieces of fruit into a counter-top blender along with some milk and whiz away.
You’ll end up with a quick and healthy snack for breakfast on-the-go or a last-minute study session.
Final Words
Adulting means being in charge of your time, energy, and resources. Meal prepping is the kind of habit that, once in place, will benefit you not only during these hectic years of ‘figuring it out’ but for the rest of your life. Just ask my kids.
Shannon Llewellyn is the health writer for Universal Owl. A Cordon Bleu chef who always enjoyed writing on the side, she recently made the transition into writing full-time.
Her spare time is mostly taken up with running, meditating, yoga, and being grandma to Sammy.
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